Parenting tips, answers, and ideas for every age and stage of your child’s life. We have mom life tips for family finances, work-life balance, and organizing your home. On my blog, I write predominantly about marriage and sex, and because of that, women not interested in sex face problems in the bedroom often email me.
My husband doesn’t want to have sex. In one of the surveys that I took for this book, 23 percent of the female respondents stated that they had the higher sex drive. The Journal of the American Medical Association published a 1999 study finding that 31 percent of males suffered from decreased libido, so it’s hardly a rare problem. Here are some of the causes. Low Testosterone About five million American men suffer from low testosterone, the hormone responsible for sexual arousal. If your husband seems to have a low libido, try to convince him to have it checked out.
A simple blood test can verify whether he does indeed have low hormone levels. Weight Problems In some cases, male low libido is simply a physical issue. Fat cells produce estrogen which works against testosterone—the libido builder—in men. The more estrogen, the less desire.
Nothing does more to restore male sex drive than achieving normal weight. Pornography Another huge libido stealer for men is pornography. The more men are into pornography, the less they are into sex in real life. Porn trains the brain to be aroused by the image, not the relationship. If your husband is into pornography, get help.
Porn is not harmless, and it’s not just fun. Addiction Addiction to porn will lower his libido, but so will addiction to just about anything. If he spends hours every night with video games or watching TV, he’s not likely to want to make love very often, either. Addiction to alcohol or a kind of drug can also lower one’s sex drive. When addiction affects a couple’s sexual relationship, it does need to be dealt with, but remember that a genuine addiction is not easy to break. The problem is not so much that your husband is rejecting you sexually as it is that, because he is so consumed with something else, he is unable to feel aroused or excited. That consuming feeling is very difficult for him to fight against.