When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be at Think Better, Live Better 2018. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it things you need to know about sex, the mind is your ultimate battleground. It’s the space where the greatest and fiercest conflict resides.
It’s where half of the things you thought were going to happen, never actually happened. It’s where your inner resistance buries you with negativity. And, when you allow these thoughts to dwell in your mind, they gradually succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your life. I know because I’ve been there. Honestly, we’ve all been there at times. But, what can we learn from our trials? There’s so much about our lives—and our fate—we can’t control, it makes absolutely no sense to focus all our energy on these things and then neglect everything we CAN control.
We can decide how we spend our time right now, what we choose to focus on, and whom we share our energy with. We can choose our words and the tone of voice in which we speak to ourselves and others. We can decide what we will engage in, read and study next. Of course, none of us are immune to occasional mood swings. But that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to them. Whether your negative attitude is a common occurrence or just a sporadic phenomenon, it’s critical for your long-term happiness and success that you choose to recognize when your mind is in the gutter, and then consciously make adjustments.
Your attitude often reflects a certain level of self-centered self-victimization. We all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center, and see everything—every event, conversation, circumstance, etc. And this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling hurt when other people are rude, to feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect. Your attitude is still greatly affected by old stories.
In the present moment, we all have some kind of pain: anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, regret, etc. Your attitude often reflects your inner resistance to reality. Most people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life as it is presenting itself right now. Do your best to catch yourself. When you accept the reality of the moment, regardless of how painful, you allow yourself to grow and heal.
Ultimately, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Your attitude gets caught up in fearing and hiding from change. Sometimes, no matter how hard it is to admit, there are things in your life that aren’t meant to stay. Change may not be what you want, but it’s always exactly what’s happening. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Or, saying hello will make you more vulnerable and uncomfortable than you ever imagined possible.
Your attitude is affected by your passivity and procrastination. So many of us waste so much of our time and energy waiting for the ideal path to appear. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. We forget that we shouldn’t feel more confident before we take the next step—that taking the next step is what builds our confidence. Your attitude reflects your aversion to discomfort. Many of us don’t want to be uncomfortable, so we run from discomfort constantly. The problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are constrained to partake in only the activities and opportunities within our comfort zones.